7 Steps to Decluttering Sentimental Items

Struggling to declutter sentimental items? You want to make the decisions but you are feeling emotional, sentimental or unsure. You are guilt ridden and attach your memories of the person to these objects they left behind.

We all attach feelings and memories to objects, but when closets, drawers and cabinets start to overflow with keepsakes, it’s easy to lose sight of the truly special ones among a growing sea of clutter.

Sentimental items are anything that we attach emotion and meaning to. This is different for everyone. Whether it is our children’s artwork, mementos of special occasions or items we inherited from demised loved ones, decluttering these can be emotional. What, then can we do to make these difficult decisions?

It isn’t an easy process but there is hope, it can be done! Here are 7 steps ( I didn’t say easy!) that will make it possible to to make those decisions you have been putting off.

The truth is no matter how advanced a homemaker you are, these decisions are difficult for everyone. I am professional declutterer and organiser but… I am having so much difficulty on sentimental items.

The truth is no matter how advanced a homemaker you are, these decisions are difficult for everyone. I am professional declutterer and organiser but… I am having so much difficulty on sentimental items.

The only way is to acknowledge the emotions and sentiments that are going to arise. Be prepared for lots of emotions. Brace yourself, you will be upset and overwhelmed but you can do it. Some of the emotions you are going to deal with are

• Guilt
• Remorse
• Confusion
• Grief
• Surge of memories- good and bad.

To get through these sometimes crippling emotions, you might want to consider these ideas

• Getting a buddy to work with you
• Take plenty of breaks
• Look for progress.
  You don’t need to conquer everything in a day
  
• Do not attempt this process while still grieving.
  you will either give up everything and regret it or give up nothing and have wasted time.
  
• Work your way from out to in
  Spend some time categorising the items. You will be surprised how many things you have held on to as keepsakes that no longer hold meaning.
  Working less personal items like things that didn’t mean much to the owner, inwards to personal belongings such as clothes and the favourite armchair will also help to deal with process.

Keep reminding yourself. These are just things! Things do not define your love for your grown up children nor how much you miss the demised or estranged person. It is the good memories that matter.

Remember, You Are Getting Rid of the Item and Not the Memory: In many cases, it’s the memories that you truly cherish and take with you, not the item itself. Hold onto those memories and you won’t need the item anymore.

If it is still too emotional, do it just a few items at the time. Set yourself a target completion date and allow yourself to work slowly within that time frame.

Now that you have done the prelims and are ready to start, here are a few steps you need to take.

Step 1
Rehome Items

If the items belong to your children, then request them to collect any belongings they want before a fixed date. Give them time to prepare themselves and their homes for these items. If they belong to deceased parents or a demised sibling, then speak to your siblings to see if there is anything they might want to keep. You can also consider working with your children or siblings through the entire process.

Step 2
Get a box

Dedicate one box to each person you are decluttering for. You might prefer one bigger box for all your keepsakes. Then allow yourself to pick either a fixed number of items, for example 5 or 8 items. These should ideally be ones attached to good memories. Pick a box of an appropriate size and allow yourself only to fill the box. Nothing more!

Step 3
More to do

You might still have quite a collection around you even after successfully managing steps 1 & 2. Instead of having things spread around your home, collect everything in one space. Sometimes the sheer amount will jolt you into decluttering at least some of it.

Step 4
Think out of the “box”.

Take some time to look at all the items. Ask yourself

• Will I buy this?
  • If you will buy it, that probably means you will use it and it brings you joy. Keep it!
    
• Can I use this?
  • Consider incorporating these items into your stuff at least for the present.
    
• What can I digitalise?
  • photographs, albums paper items including scrapbook pages, documents, report cards, etc can all be digitalised for easy storage, sharing and are easily retrievable.
    
• Will a photograph suffice?
  • you have already kept a box of treasures aside, you probably can’t fit anymore in there nor into your home. Consider taking a photograph and adding it to an album for the deceased. This is especially useful for large items such as furniture.
    
• Can I repurpose it?
  • Think about making a quilt with old clothes or cushion covers out of more fancy garments. I have even seen sarees used as curtains.
  • Nothing is too bold. It’s about how you feel about your choices. And moreover, you can give it away at any point you are ready.
    
• Will using it one last time help?
  • your grandmother’s linen. You might want to use it one more time. Similarly for a dinner set. That camera you learnt to take pics with, use it another day and then give it away.
    
• Who better than me?
  • Ask yourself who will get better and more use of these items you are holding on to. Give away these items and set yourself free. It is less emotionally heavy to give sentimental things away to someone you know instead of sending it to a thrift shop. Knowing someone else is appreciating these items makes it so much easier.

Step 5
Integrate the items

Household items that have come handed down can also be mixed into your own presently used belongings. Keep like items with your items off the same category. See what you reach for and what is useful. Declutter as you would your own stuff. It becomes less emotional because you have given the items a chance to be used.

Step 6
Highlight Chosen Items

Instead of holding on to everything – for example your demised dog’s collar, bed, bowls. this can be pared down to one or two meaningful items that can be displayed in a small shelf especially in a new pets area. This will help commemorate the deceased pet that has crossed the doggy rainbow.
Similarly, you can keep a one person set of dinnerware or one set of table linen instead of everything in that category. Take your time in making your choice.

Step 7
Acknowledge Everything

In order to deal with the stuff you have decided not to keep, it will be easier if you

• Give it closure.
  Use the dinner set one last time.
  
• Be done with bad memories.
  Have a small letting go ceremony. Burn photographs with the ex. Letting go of trinkets into the sea or a river might all be helpful in gaining acceptance.
  
• Have a memorial.
  Honour your loved one. Invite family and friends and give them a chance to share stories and memories of the deceased. Display the items (removing items as you see fit).
  Allow them to take home items that are sentimental to them.
  
• Host a gathering.
  Invite your children and their families to talk about their childhood and what the keepsakes mean to them. They might take items belonging to the other for their own collection. Their children might like a “relic” or two to brag about.
  You might want to share your stories about their childhood (censorship to be exercised) and give them a chance to get answers they want.
  
• Commemorate their life.
  Take a family picture with all the keepsakes before letting go.
  Start a family and friends page or account with specific and personal hashtags and upload the pictures and photos there with stories and references, if possible.

Keeping Sentimental Clutter at Bay

While you’ve done the work of decluttering the sentimental keepsakes that you currently own, it’s easy to use the extra space to stockpile more stuff. Be careful of how you use your newly emptied space. It’s very easy to get carried away and refill that space with more keepsakes.

Take time to read through this to better handle the process when the time comes. Being aware helps you be better prepared.

I hope this helps those who are fighting emotional challenges in their Decluttering process.

This is a summary from one of the Modules in the Decluttering & Organising Workshop I will be conducting soon. So do look out for that. And if you have any other ideas, I’m listening.