I have written about being a good homemaker, a better homemaker, an enviable homemaker and each comes with its own tips, some worded differently and some unique to its purpose.
Every home is different, the needs of the home vary but the ability to handle a home is the constant every homemaker needs.
I think understanding our role as a Homemaker makes it easier to navigate through the process.
Our role is to cater for the needs of the home and family. In order to do that, we first need to have the necessary tools.
Over my years of working with others, I truly feel a homemaker needs a few capabilities that supersede other skills.
These skills are the core tools of every homemaker. Some of these skills do not come naturally to many, you may have one but lack another.
Below are what I believe to be the FIVE most important traits people need in many aspects of life but I’m limiting it to Homemaking for the purposes of this post.
1. Time management
All other skills will be useless unless you manage your time wisely. Time management makes it possible to get everything that needs to be done, actually done. Otherwise, no matter how good a cook you are, you might never find the time to cook!
Time management helps you create a balance in life, by allocating time to the most important aspects and therefore achieving your goals and priorities.
2. Mood management
Moods are a tough one to tackle! There are many reasons for mood swings (minor and major) ranging from hormones, depression or mental health issues, physical challenges and ability to cope with external triggers and factors.
Ultimately, how you handle these stressors will determine your overall ability to manage other aspects of life.
As a homemaker your moods should never affect your role. Sometimes, when we are overwhelmed or upset, we might empty out a cabinet in frustration and then just stare at the new mess created. Why? Why did I not control myself????
Or you decide not to cook for your partner because you are miffed. A simple argument can escalate to a full blown fight which might affect your relationship.
Being moody and being out of control can damage your relationships, your belongings and most importantly your self esteem.
There are other ways to handle these aggravations. It should not affect your ability to carry out your responsibilities at work, at home or as part of a family.
Impulsivity or impulsiveness is another mood problem some homemakers face. Doing something without planning it through, not only creates unwarranted repercussions for you but can also be frustrating for the family.
It’s bad enough your impulsiveness put you in a bad position that they see, it’s even more aggravating if the other family members also have to bear the burden of your decisions.
Everything said, moodiness isn’t well received. When dealing others, state what’s in your mind clearly, no passive aggressive comments, select an appropriate time and end it. Do not predict their inability to make changes until the situation arises again.
3. Lifestyle management
Have a balanced lifestyle. If you are cancelling outings and even work to catch up on housework, it won’t be long before you resent your role and start feeling trapped and overwhelmed.
Alternatively, you might not be creating enough time in your day to complete your routine at home.
Both these situations call for a lifestyle check. Time blocking is an excellent way to create a balance in life. Priorities should be added first, followed by other important goals. Read The Priority Matrix to help you decide what needs doing and what doesn’t need your attention.
4. Expectation management
We all have expectations, from ourselves and from others.
Our expectation from ourselves may be just too high or you might no longer have any expectation because you are burnt out. Sort it out!
It’s important to set achievable goals and visions or objectives. Unrealistic expectations only lead to disillusionment and frustration.
Similarly, have realistic expectations of outcomes. Whether in a relationship or a project, the outcome might not be exactly what you want, but you have to accept it (unless it’s damaging to someone). We can’t be sticklers for perfection.
The same applies to our need for appreciation and gratitude. Everyone’s love language is different. Be aware of that. Your family may show appreciation in other ways than you want. And if you are feeling taken for granted, seek their cooperation or professional help.
Take time to rejuvenate yourself and plan your actions forward.
What’s your take on the expectations of family and friends on a homemaker? Look out for that post because I have a lot of say in this!
5. Attention management
Next up, you want to manage your focus and attention. This is where the action really happens. Focus on what your time, your priorities, and the day-to-day are. You need your priorities aligned and the hierarchy of what you need to get done in the time that you have.
Where you actually focus your time, effort, and energy on any given day or week tells you which priorities you value. Reevaluate if your tasks are in tandem with your goals and what makes you happy.
These are crucial management skills that one can read on, research, practice and apply. These have a tremendous effect on our mental health and self esteem while also establishes how others perceive us in this role of homemaker.
Think about this and how you can improve yourself for yourself and for you’re household. let us know if you have other tips to share.